Time to Heal

I know I haven't written a blog post in ages. But since I've been getting a lot of questions about what I'm doing and why, so I decided to write a post about it. Even if no one ever reads it, I figured it would be therapeutic for me to write it. And who knows, maybe it will help someone. This will probably be made up of multiple posts over the next few days because I want to make sure I cover everything. This is also difficult for me to write so I want to take my time. My parents, my husband, my sister, and a couple of close friends are who I talk to, telling others beyond that is hard for me. I usually only do it when I have to, which usually means that my illness is interfering with my life and I have to tell that person why. Or I'm explaining why I've spent this summer and last summer resting instead of gaining work experience. I'm really trying not to sugar coat anything here because I want you to understand what it means for me to be able to say that I feel good and right at this moment, I feel amazing and I am sleeping better. You will hopefully understand the magnitude of that statement as I tell you about me.

Today I think I'll start by telling you about the disease that I have been suffering from. I have Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). It sounds like a rather harmless disease actually. Silly even. Definitely not a disease that should cause serious problems. Where the pain of RLS occurs and how it is described varies from person to person as does it's severity, so I will tell you what it means for me. I get a painful, creepy crawly feeling in my joints. Originally it only affected my knees. Currently it affects my knees and my hips and it has affected my elbows at times as well. I also have an intense desire to move my legs and also my arms if they are being affected as well. Along with RLS I have periodic leg movement disorder (PLMD) which means I twitch. My legs move on there own. The twitching actually started first and was probably why most of my adult life I felt like I could never get enough sleep. My legs twitching would wake me up and keep me from getting quality sleep no matter how long I stayed in bed - I just didn't know yet that was happening.

I really couldn't tell you when I first developed RLS. I remember when I was a child I would occasionally get this intense aching in my knees. My pediatrician said it was growing pains but I never grew out of it so it was probably RLS. Like I said though it was occasional so there was no need to do anything about it. And it didn't keep me from sleeping. I slept fine as a child and through high school. I remember those days of blissfully peaceful sleep very fondly. And I am determined to heal and get back to sleeping that well. Once I reached my 20's and possibly in high school as well, I would get RLS that is like what I have now. I would get this sensation in my knees when I was overly tired. Especially if I was trapped somewhere and unable to walk around. I once deliberately went to sleep during an Austin Symphony concert because I was tired that day and sitting there was becoming very painful. In those taking a nap would make the RLS symptoms go away. As I was falling asleep I would just stretch and move my legs a bit and I was fine when I woke up and at that time the RLS didn't interfere with my sleep. Well, it actually probably was because I really never felt like I got enough sleep and just always felt tired. But my doctor couldn't find anything wrong with me so I didn't push the issue. I thought that was just how I was supposed to feel - tired all the time. I thought that was adulthood. And until my mid twenties, that is how I continued.  Until the RLS came permanently and for 2 weeks I slept horribly and then decided I had to go see my doctor because there was no way I could continue with nightly RLS that wouldn't go away. And on that note, I'm going to stop cause this is getting long and has taken me quite a while to write. I will leave you with a picture of John and I from our recent trip to San Antonio. This is us at the San Antonio Zoo and there are pink flamingos in the background.